If you actually know me, chances are pretty good that we have had this discussion. I feel rather strongly about it. I see no reason why words like "shit" "fuck" and that all-hated 'c-word' "cunt" are, or should be, bad words. Of course, for me this goes all the way down to name-calling like "shithead" "asshole" and "boogerhead".

How many times have you seen a child get in trouble for calling his sister "poopyhead" or something like it? Why? I mean, honestly now, what is the big deal? These are WORDS! Words like "poopyhead" (often referred to as "potty words") are a natural part of childhood!

Until we, as adults, teach them that these words are "bad" and harmful, children just think them fun to say. And ya know what? They are! Not to mention that they aren't even real "cuss words!" Next time a kid calls you "poopyhead," just look 'em in the eye, and say "Hey! I'm not the poopyhead! You are!" It's good clean fun, it doesn't involve the dreaded power struggle, and it relieves of your "responsibility" to punish them for it!

Many people who came over to visit my children and I were shocked to see me call my children "boogers." (Actually, my first was "boogerbutt", my second was "boogernose", and my third was "boogerhead.") They were even more shocked when my children called me a "buttmunch." But ya know what? They never came home to me crying because the kids at school were calling them names, and, as far as I know, they've never been in trouble at school for "swearing" either! Children aren't offended by these words until we teach them to be!

We've been taught to allow ourselves to be traumatized by these silly words, and we pass this on to our children. Why? What *good* comes of being offended by these words? What good comes of allowing ourselves to be so easily manipulated? (If you have a good answer, let me know!) Which is exactly what people offended by "swear words" are. They are easily manipulated.

It's true! I can offend, anger, and even sometimes OUTRAGE someone simply by using the right word(s)! Don't believe me? Walk into a room full of relatively "normal" women, and loudly say "That fucking cunt!" Not only will every head in the room turn to you, but you will see such an amazing variety of facial expressions that you will probably never forget the moment!

There will be shock, disgust, anger, fury... Yes, it's amazing but it's true! Some women will get positively infuriated just by hearing the "c-word!" It doesn't even have to be directed at them! (If you try this, ask them to explain their responses! Many will splutter!)

Let me share a tale with you...
I used to have a T-shirt (from the music group Warrant, if anyone cares) that said "Censorship is unfucking American." I was asked to put duct tape on it at a place I frequented. The reason? "Some people might be offended." To this day, I find it one of the most ironic experiences of my life. I'm sad to admit I did use the duct tape, but I was younger then, barely an adult, and less confident in mySelf and my beliefs.

I didn't see anything "offensive" about the shirt then, nor do I now. I'm not convinced that "Freedom of Speech" *necessarily* applies to these words, (though they aren't, exempt from it either.) I feel that it was meant to be applied to expression of political and religious beliefs more than to "swear words," but that shirt *was* an expression of political belief. If I believed in shame, I'd shame myself for that duct tape! (Maybe sometime I'll go into the difference between censorship and responsible prudence.)

Now, I understand that some people say it is a matter of respect, but I say that word choices have nothing to do with respect, or the lack of it. Rather, it is the delivery of our words. The tone of voice we use; the mannerisms; and the thoughts, feelings, opinions, and beliefs expressed; being taken as a whole: these are what determine the level of respect we show each other. For example, if someone screamed in your face, but didn't use a single "cuss word" would it feel any more respectful? Of course it wouldn't! And if someone chidingly calls you a "silly ass" with love in their voice are you just as offended as if they'd screeched it at you? What if they said in sincere awe and wonder, "Wow! You're a fucking genius!" Would you be offended then? I hope not! And if so, WHY??? Isn't it just silly?!

So then, why should being called a "bitch" (female dog) be any more offensive than being called a "male giraffe"? Why should being called a "dick" (Richard, detective, penis, any of them) be any more offensive than being called an arm or a baker or an Alexander? It is absolutely senseless to give people this power over ourselves!

Am I advocating for parents to allow their children to "swear?" (Who decided to call it "swearing" anyway?) No, of course not! They could end up spending their entire school career in detention! But if we can start teaching our children not to give these words such power, perhaps some day a teenager will be able to say "That assignment was fucking tough!" within range of a teacher without spending an hour in detention. And what would be bad about that? (Note that the meaning of "fucking" in that statement is not derogatory, but rather a simple adjective meaning "extremely.")